“Bad moms” is a movie that turned America upside down. I laughed myself to tears, while reading an article that tells the story of Ami, Kiki, and Carli, perfectly ordinary moms, who crumble underneath the burden that a multitasking society imposes on them, a society that demands everything and then some more. You get the picture: being flawless at work, loving and available in the bedroom, well groomed and with top notch makeup, wearing stilettos, of course, and if it’s at all possible, eternally young as well. I get so mad sometimes at all the stereotypes that the fashion and entertainment world impose on us, because it doesn’t even offer us a chance to age in peace, get wrinkles, be in a bad mood sometimes, and, yes, even lazy. When was the last time, you turned your phone off, put your feet up and only do what you felt like? Even if it’s doing absolutely nothing or clicking through channels to find another episode of the crazy Kardashian family or simply watching the old Dolce and Gabbana commercial with David Gandy in his underwear? When was it, really? I’ll bet you, it has never happened. Or maybe, back when you were in your twenties and junk food was somewhat more acceptable, if not for any other reason than it didn’t make you gain a pound over night. And you used to enjoy junk food, you can admit it …
I would like to shake off all restraints, if only for a week, and just be crazy again, like I used to be. To forget about the rules and responsibilities, to make some mistakes and not worry about being perfect, to turn my phone off, put all the clocks and watches in the nightstand drawer and live by the sun and the moon, spend my time in cafes and in nature, with my friends or by myself, with my partner or in the company of the wind and clear sky that has captured my magical world the past few days. How wonderful it would be to scream from the top of your lungs “Yes, I have boundaries, and I’m like a barrel that fills up quickly, and when it does, it explodes, and you really don’t want to be there, because it will send you to the moon and you’ll never get back, which may not even be a bad thing”. But of course, I’m a mother, daughter, partner, a boss at work, I have a million different roles and faces, but you know, my day still only has 24 hours, and I wish I could send it all to hell, sometimes, sit in my car and turn Bon Jovi up really loud or go get a facial, and a wax, pedicure, back massage, and hook on to the latest machine that gets rid of the cellulite on the thighs, and just enjoy the attention until late in the evening. And I wouldn’t cook, even though I love getting creative in the kitchen, but just as if you were to become the restaurant manager, and every meal is different, and served at a different time, you would reach a point, when you lose it and you resolve: just get some cornflakes and go to bed, because I’m going out.
All of these so called mistakes or weaknesses are a part of me, sometimes I am more and other times less aware of them, however, if I write about them and speak out loud about them, they’re not really mistakes, they’re a sign of strength and balance, because despite all the confusion, a contemporary woman should have polished nails, waxed legs, as few wrinkles as possible on her forehead, I’m not even going to start writing about the bikini area, because Mr Hefner has killed all the spontaneity with his Playboy and the bunnies.
The myth of a woman, who never falls and always stays on top of everything, is utter stupidity ‒ to hell with it. We should be building monuments for all women out there, who have children, a job, husband, and carry the weight of the entire family on their shoulders, while no one seems to ask them, whether they want it this way, and most of all, if they can even handle everything. Everything is being taken for granted in this crazy society, demanding instant life and relationships, as though women were those Illy coffee machines, and don’t get me wrong, I love an Illy espresso, but it should go in my stomach, not on my back, for crying out loud! And so our days consist of taking kids to day-care or school, going to work, rushing to the grocery store, cooking lunch, picking kids up form school, taking them for ballet lessons, ironing all the shirts, entertaining the kids, and friends, smiling a lot, cooking dinner, putting kids to bed, telling a bedtime story (even three, if that’s necessary, and different each time), singing for a bit (“Not this one, mommy, the other one …”), doing the dishes, not forgetting the hair mask, nail polish has chipped by now, forget about the book, it’s not like you’ve picked it up in the past two months, so you have no idea, what it’s about, anymore … and finally, of course, check into the bedroom all rested up and pleased that the day is finally over.
I’m not trying to frustrate you, not in the least bit, my article is actually completely optimistic, because if we can do all of that, we can really do it all. And you know what? I often feel so depressed, sad, angry, or just disappointed, and I put the perfect smile on my face, the one for which my mother says I would definitely get an Academy Award in Hollywood. So, who knows, you might just see me on the silver screen one day, playing the Crazy-woman-who-always-handled-everything-and-then-she-finally-got-over-it. And so what? 🙂