It seems so simple, but it’s actually not. We are so attached to people, objects, our work and our house that we can’t even imagine change is possible. We get a sharp pain deep within our heart, we immediately run out of breath, life requires a complete reorganization and we ask ourselves whether we will be able to handle it. But every thing has its own rhythm and may require some common sense to resolve it when you’re supposed to. Letting go is not easy, but it happens to be the only solution to start living again. When I was talking to a friend, contemplating on relationships, we both thought of patterns left by our parents and the fact that this world has a lot of rules. Too many rules. What will the neighbours say, how will my sister react, what will our parents think of us, what will our staff? And in this whirlwind of people it is so unbelievably easy to forget ourselves and the things that we really want, as well as the people who are truly important to us, making our lives more beautiful.
As a woman, I often think about priorities and relationships with others, as well as the fact that I too often forget about my own needs, because there is always someone who comes first. I am very grateful for the kindness that I have been born with and that was then given to me, because you cannot hurt other people and should treat them with care. I realise it’s a nice virtue, but I get the urge sometimes to take the gloves off, bare my teeth just like others do; however, tit for tat is not my principle, so I prefer to let go and move on. And I do think that letting go is a thing that you learn when you’re wise enough and probably old enough to sincerely and deeply understand that things become even more complicated when we give them unnecessary energy and constantly mull them over. That is why I prefer to focus on everything I have, and I do truly have a lot, I think positively about what I would like to have; and there are so many dreams; I don’t dwell on the less ideal paths or the people who have failed my expectations. It is the expectations that kill, especially because we paint our own picture about a person, who may not be as we would like them to be, as it very often happens in love relationships and friendship.
The flawless partner must have one feature in particular: to read minds. They must somehow detect all those tiny signals that make it so clear that everything is as it should be, or, on the contrary, that we don’t like things. Because even though we were given words to use them and speak up loud and clear when something is bringing us down, it often happens that we don’t know how or don’t want to use them. I appreciate silence and despite the fact that my job can be noisy, I in fact often find myself in a quiet setting and really enjoy when I can just listen to my thoughts and put them away in a hundred different compartments. I also have a special place for the black thoughts, but it is one that I very rarely open. “Go with the flow” is the most memorable advice I got, because as long as we are doing things against our true selves, they never add up. The start of the year is the perfect time to try to come to some agreements with our Self; perhaps we can finally say to ourselves that we will listen more carefully and take more time to do the things that matter to us. It doesn’t matter whether it is biking, mushroom picking, shopping or reading the most impossible romance. Everything else can wait, we just have to learn to let go and give ourselves a new opportunity.
Sometimes I get the feeling that we are quick to close the door behind us and punish ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously, for our mistakes and other people’s expectations that we don’t meet. But everybody has their own truth and expectations of others. This is not neccessarily our truth, so don’t let them hurt you or upset you too much. It may be wiser, if we put less importance on the things that are really quite irrelevant, and pay more attention to our soul; because it speaks to us every day, it can be quite loud sometimes ‒ but what can you do, when it’s so much easier to ignore it.