Love should be calm and passionate at the same time, never to be taken for granted, always wonderful, without significant rises and falls, and above all, understanding. Human relationships can sometimes be quite complicated; there are people around you that you know really well, but you can never be entirely sure that they will never disappoint you, And it so happens, out of the blue, that you find yourself high up on a swing in the middle of a beautiful meadow, surrounded with flowers and dew, but there are clouds above you, filled with rain, which always makes me think of angels’ tears, because someone is upset, perhaps they’re sad or wants to let us know that we are not actually alone. And when this crazy swinging starts, moving up and down, you’re waiting for the moment when it all stops, when you reach the lowest point, where you can bravely jump off, roll in the grass, hide in the nearest bushes and fall asleep from exhaustion. Because relationships that sway and swing are really exhausting, and you have no inner peace, which makes everything else more difficult, as if you lived on a string without ever knowing when it’s going to break. Without willpower. Without strength.
Happiness and sadness go together hand in hand sometimes, just like yin and yang, opposites, which attract, when all we really need is some peace and quiet to clear our head, and simply take a walk by the sea with nothing on our mind. Nothing strange or supernatural, just serenity, silence, and the feeling that everything will be alright, because all we need is often only a friend, who knows how to say the right thing and say it at the right moment; when we need it. If you’re lucky, you still have your mother, who for me is the closest person, because I know deep down that while I have many different roles, I am also a daughter, who needs a safe embrace, a warm cup of coffee and that cake she used to make for me, while I was lying in bed with a fever. Every time something unfair happens to me, or I just feel the world started turning in the wrong direction, I go to my mom and that is when I become aware of how priceless and wise she is, even in her silence. In that moment, I don’t need a conversation, only silence and a warm blanket on the armchair, perhaps a good book and the scent of candles in the air.
Sensibility and a sense of humour usually make sure love stays alive and well; the fact that we laugh at the same things is a sign that we share one heart, because troubles start when laughter ceases, and it’s usually difficult to go back. Do you believe in soulmates? They say that there is an ideal partner for every one of us, as well as friends and parents, but is doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the people in our lives right now. It’s more about people and souls that exist out there, and cross each others’ paths now and then. It would be much easier, if mother nature made sure we made that connection, it seems to me that, if we were on the same wave-length, we would have less troubles and the world would be a better place. I imagine the world in perfect harmony, and yet I’m not so sure we would know how to appreciate it, so I believe there is a reason for the way things, relationships, our life journeys, are as they are.
I have been baking cookies these past few days. Every october jumps out at me with the inexplicable desire to bake, and to stay at home. I really enjoy my time there and it’s the little things that give me inner peace. Sometimes it’s vanilla sugar, other times fresh bedding, seemingly insignificant factors, which really have a meaning to me. It’s at times like these that I feel grounded, instead of having my feet dangling in the air, thinking of the abyss below me. I also don’t feel the air on my face anymore, becuase the swing becomes meaningless. That’s when I say to myself: think less and feel more.