I recently read an interesting commentary about happiness by a Danish psychologist. Even though we often take happiness for granted at it seems within our reach, contemporary lives are complicated and we often find ourselves searching to no avail. What we should do is close our eyes and relax a bit, take a deep breath and answer the simplest of questions: When was the last time we felt happy? I think all of us has the ability to recognise the different shapes personal happiness takes; some are quite superficial and quick to pass, like when we buy a new lipstick, which make us happy, of course, but it doesn’t last for more than a few hours. Other instances may be much more long-lived, for instance when we’re in a happy relationship and feel utterly lost without the other person. And then there is the only form of true happiness: the one we feel when we’re by ourselves.
The psychologist writes that when a patient recalls the feeling of pure bliss by closing their eyes, 90 percent of the time this is related to the presence of another person. While there is nothing wrong with that, we still should be able to feel happy when we’re alone. So, when is the last time you experienced this? And when is the last time you actually took some quality time to think, search your heart and find the true Self that accompanies us throughout our lives? These moments should have a stronger presence in our lives, and making sure they have the chance to happen is imperative for our personal happiness. I suppose we all have some sort of morning ritual and mine certainly includes taking the time to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. This is a blissful time of day, because the house is wrapped in serene silence, which makes the fragrance of coffee all the more tempting. So I drink the cup of this aromatic brew and peruse my favourite magazine Bella Grace. This usually doesn’t last a long time, but it’s an intense sensation, which I keep turning to whenever I need a moment of quiet or simply courage to get through a difficult situation. I close the door, make some coffee, take the magazine into my hands as I sit down, and the world transforms into a new dimension.
Coffee is like an embrace without a touch. It’s a friend that sees into your soul and give you warmth when you really need it. It’s the power of friendship and a good luck ritual, a pause that gives you time to caress your soul. It’s interesting, how it doesn’t really matter, where or with whom we drink it, nor if the taste is soft or aromatic enough; it still brings forth the feeling of perfect happiness. It’s the quality time we need to spend with ourselves. It’s about stopping to smell the roses and letting go when things become too much. After all, it’s also about the fact we spend more and more time at work, at the office, that we fail to realise working weekends is useless, because it takes away too many family meals, nature walks and time spent at the playground.
I’ve been wondering, when do we learn to draw the line and say, enough. Society keeps us on a short leash and smothers us. Women in position of power or women with their own careers, especially, have the worst defence systems. The impossible is required of us: constant perfection and 36-hour days. We are often so broken up and fragile on the onside that it makes me wonder how we don’t each have our own therapist yet, a therapist for the soul. Life should be a walk around the wonderfully coloured autumn park. And a jump into the most amazingly turquoise Caribbean sea. It should smell of vanilla and glisten in the candle light at night. Society and our responsibilities made us lose touch with the things that actually matter. I wish we get them back. To learn to say no. To set boundaries. To have our cup of coffee in perfect peace. To laugh from the heart. And to appreciate those stars in our eyes that keep reminding us it’s the little moments that truly matter. Everything else is just a fashion accessory.
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