Once upon a time, the Universe let me know that it would bestow upon me much more than what I have lost. That it will bring different people in my life and a child that will show me the way. It told me that we all have our own calling, which is why there are many different paths, and so it’s normal, if they don’t cross. It also let me know I was too attached to material possessions, which are not as tangible as I’d always liked to think and not as durable as I saw them. It’s only a perception of stability and safety, without which we feel like we’re stumbling in the dark or lift up like helium balloons, at least it feels the same. Letting go, not getting too attached and allowing new things to come to you, hitting you full force with the unique feeling of surprise is a matter of maturity and emotional intelligence.
I once did an interview with a legendary plastic surgeon and he told me half jokingly that there is a center for beauty in our brain. We all have it, but it’s been damaged in some, so they don’t sense it. I thought that was fascinating that that is even possible‒similar to color blindness, it just happens, which doesn’t mean that the world around you is black and white. I kept thinking that it’s possible that we have a similar center in our brain for emotional intelligence, so that we all have it, but it’s been damaged in some. I’m not getting into whether it’s been damaged growing up or right from the start when the world was too cold and disinterested, or later on when there was a traumatic event, or maybe it never worked in the first place. The fact is we don’t all have emotional intelligence. We have a similar brain structure, we are similar to each other in that respect, but we are actually completely different and unique, for better or worse.
I started counting my blessings instead of my troubles or lost battles. I made a list and it’s quite simple: there are all the pluses and nice things on one side, and all that I consider minuses and things that hurt me on the other. I realized that the first list was really extensive, but the other one ended quickly. It made me think I have no right to whine or be in a bad mood, if not entirely unhappy, that things don’t always work out as planned. Like I have written many times before, what matters most is that we don’t become prisoners of our past, because the past is just a lesson, not the verdict. And it is ours, after all, so it’s better to stop ourselves when we get the urge to judge things we will never know. Judgments. I just finished reading a wonderful book that waited for me since the summer and I can now warmly recommend to you, The Universe Has Your Backby Gabrielle Bernstein. Now I’m waiting for her new book about the importance of not judging and how the world would be a better place if we didn’t do that. I always have an apology for everything bad I do: I’m only human. But if this technique worked when I was thirty, it definitely isn’t as effective now, perhaps because I developed a deeper acceptance of consequences and understand decisions better, and also because I’m an acute observer of the world and I have learnt to stay quiet, when everybody knows everything, or as Jesus would say: Let he, who has no sin, throw the first stone.
Some people have old souls and we have to accept them for who they are. An old soul will know the way, even if it hasn’t walked on it yet. They will help you without saying a thing, because that is their calling. They will need silence and time for themselves, because the world can be a tiring place and we often find ourselves when we least accept it. In the quiet of your home, at the top of a snowy peak or the moment your bare foot touches on hot sand. You can’t learn it. You either have it or you don’t.
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