Emotional baggage: how to let it go

Emotional or psychological baggage is a collective term for any unresolved emotional turmoil caused by childhood trauma, abuse, or any negative experience from the past. Our emotional baggage teaches us many things—from helping us manage expectations, discovering what we want in life and relationships, and teaching us how to cope with pain and rejection. The issue we all have is that we don’t know how to unload this emotional backpack, and instead let it seep its way into every corner of our lives. Carrying a heavy emotional backpack has some clear negative consequences. Emotional baggage probably has the biggest effect on our romantic relationships. Nothing else brings out our worst demons than by being vulnerable in love.

Let it go

Wouldn’t anyone want a perfect childhood? Unfortunately, more than two-thirds of children grow up in a “non-traditional family environment.” This means that a lot of us walk around in life carrying deep emotional wounds from our traumatic childhoods. Of course, we all have different experiences and some might have it worse than others. But even for me, whose parents are nothing short of loving and attentive, I still can’t deny that their turbulent marriage and emotional distress didn’t add a heavy load on my emotional backpack. It’s never easy to “let go” when it comes to the people who are supposed to love and care for you. And it also doesn’t necessarily mean you have to cut ties with them. Sometimes it just means letting go of what you can’t control, and focusing on how you react.

The past is the past

We have to discriminate between the ways of thinking we must let go of and the emotions that need to be tossed aside that keep us stuck, and the ways of thinking and feeling that will help us move forward and help us heal. Being afraid is nothing to worry about. But when we fail to heal from a traumatic experience, fear can become the enemy. Unprocessed fear becomes a constant companion which can affect or limit you regularly. Fear of commitment also happens within relationships where one or both partners hold back, refuse to give themselves fully, always wearing their protective shields. Try to remember that “imaginary guilt” is just that—it’s imaginary. Before you start doing things out of guilt, check-in with yourself. Are your emotions real? Or are you jumping to conclusions? “What-if” scenarios can keep you stuck where you are for a very long time. It is what it is. The past is past, and there is nothing you can do to change it. The best thing you can do now is evaluate what happened and learn from it.