A bit of vanity for the soul

Clothes make the (wo)man, as the saying goes, so what you wear is a sort of extension of your personality. It’s like wearing an invisible coat that protects you and presents you to the outside world, even when you want to stay silent. Clothing is a way to set a specific place for your identity, to reach a certain status in society, to make people take us more or less seriously, to transcend certain boundaries that we otherwise wouldn’t, with the help of fabric, accessories, and colours. The way we dress is our language, our means of communication and a way to find people similar to us, compatible with us, sometimes even completely different from us, but still with useful lessons we can learn from them. Clothes are also a way to boost our morale, take time to ourselves, work on ourselves and get to know ourselves better, because, you know, it’s not that bad to spend some time alone now and then and work on our image.

Photo: Robert Krumpak

I always say to women: If you’re in a bad mood, treat yourself to a new dress, good makeup, extra shiny earrings or high heels. Above all, consider yourself beautiful, because there is nothing more appealing than a woman’s confidence, the belief that the world is your oyster and you’re unstoppable. In a way, clothes give us power to pick ourselves up when we’re down and the world seems to be spinning around the wrong way.I notice a difference when I put on some high heels, even if I’m wearing jeans. I instantly feel in charge of the situation. Some of you may know I spend every first Saturday of the month as a personal shopper. I love the time I get to spend with women, because we can laugh so hard that we start crying, and we enjoy getting a coffee while discovering the shops together ‒ I listen to their stories, they listen to my advice and in the end we blossom like roses in the summertime when we realise that we’re all women, so similar and connected regardless of the fact we come from different families and have totally different lifestyles. The female energy remains ever so present and I love the fact that, with the help of a dress, some frilled sleeves, a leather bag or an animal print trench, it grows even stronger, because every one of them would like to try it on, but none of them would otherwise end up buying it, instead saying “What are people going to think of me”.

Photo: Robert Krumpak

Photo: Robert Krumpak

This is what perfectly sums up the wonderful dilemma that always dwells deep inside of us, when we’re walking around stores and you consider treating yourself to a wild piece to surprise your partner, your friend or yourself with, but then comes the feeling that other things are more important and you should prioritize those. All that’s fine and well, my darlings, but I can tell you nothing is nicer than a new mom that treats herself to a personal shopper for two hours and then tells me confidently “I’m still breastfeeding, you know, but I turned off my phone, because the baby is with my husband and they can manage … Now I have two hours to myself”. That is exactly what we need, a bit of vanity for the soul, to gently caress our wings and let ourselves know we still matter, we’re still important. We tend to think that homes crumble with us not there, and not only our homes, the entire society, just keep that in mind. Replaceable? Not even close. Every one of us seems unique to me, just like the clothes we wear, the ring that reminds us of our engagement or wedding, even the knitted bracelet, a memoire of a vacation that is long gone by now. We may have a wrinkle too many and are worried about the neck or the arms, because that is where our real age is revealed, so we use creams, pamper , and closely monitor the effects of gravity and sleepless nights, put ourselves under the microscope and are often way too critical. Still, the desire for perfection and beauty remains alive inside us like a gene we were born with, which can also cheer us up, makes life less dull, leave us speechless and give us those precious moments in front of the mirror, when we finally see ourselves in all our beauty, almost perfect.

Photo: Robert Krumpak

Photo: Robert Krumpak

Photo: Robert Krumpak

What we need these days is a means to make us even stronger. Good food, more water, more sleep, less stress, a man’s arm around our waist, a sincere gaze while we eat dinner, some peace and quiet in the living room, and perhaps a pair of shoes with insanely high heels. It’s been proven a long time ago in the States that mental health is closely linked to appearance, because there are invisible threads everywhere, keeping us upright, and sometimes the line between normal and abnormal is very, very thin. All the little things we do for ourselves don’t only make us stronger, but can also be extremely fun. So just wave your arm now and then, leave your worries behind and go shopping. Or go for a delicious cup of coffee with your best friend, the one you know very well and see her every morning, when you look at yourself in the mirror.