Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a co-worker who took too long of a lunch break. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as a person who behaves selfishly or hurts our feelings. Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or send that nasty email and do any potential harm. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. After all, like that dog in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behaviour.
Remember, we are more alike than different. When I feel critical of someone, I try to remind myself that the other person loves their family just like I do, and wants to be happy and free of suffering, just like I do. Most important, that person makes mistakes, just like I do. Someone once told me, no one wakes up in the morning and says, “I think I’m going to be a jerk today.” Most of us do the best we can with the resources we have at the moment. The lesson is: give the person the benefit of the doubt.
If you don’t like doing something, it doesn’t mean that other people should not do it too. For example, if you don’t like tattoos, you shouldn’t tell other person that their tattoos look horrible. If someone can’t get a diploma, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to study, they just can’t pay for their education. We are all different and we all have different life problems. Instead of judging someone today, try to improve your own life.Tolerance is essential in a modern world. Nowadays people do so many crazy things that it’s hard to keep silent when needed. Cultivate tolerance on a daily basis and it will help you understand people better and judge less. If you can’t understand someone, then don’t dwell on them. Focus on your own problems instead.
When you are lonely, you might use judgments to bond with other people, but these bonds are based on negativity. The bonds you have based on judging others are superficial and are not likely to contain true substance. When we want our own lives to be different, we are quick to judge the lives of others. If you’re judging others, you’re probably judging yourself pretty harshly as well.
When you judge other people, you don’t define them, you actually define yourself.
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