Forgiveness is hard, it’s part of human nature to hold on to events and memories, we make sure to dust off those that made our hearts sing in the past, and also take good care of the ones that have hurt us. To forgive is to heal. It’s as though we had an open wound that just needs some peace and quiet to finally close. And our thoughts are the hand that keeps scratching the wound, opening it again and again, not letting it heal. It’s clear that it’s never going to disappear, because every wound has its own scar, but time smoothes the edges. And when we finally let go, we grow. I once read somewhere that growth is the only goal in life: how much you’re able to move from a certain phase, how much you can forgive, love, how much you’re able to move on and most of all, lift yourself up every time you fall down. And if the lesson has failed, it simply repeats itself in the next lifetime, no exceptions, no mercy, just the homework you have to do.
Hope is what makes things possible, but not easier. The hope that it will get better eventually, that things will calm down and we’ll end up where we want to be, even though one thing is true for all of us: we are always at the right place at the right time, even if we feel like everything is wrong. Breathe, my darlings, deeply and consciously. Breathe in the air that gave us life so many years ago. Breathe in the rain, the cold, the sunshine and mist. Breathe in yourself, because we only deserve the best. Think about solutions, because worries should never prevail and the tension will not break our wings. Just breathe and things will be fine. Everything that occupies our mind, controls our life, We’re the ones in charge, so let nobody take that away, let nobody set boundaries, because the only limit in life is the one you set for yourself.
My only goal in life is to be happy. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to pinpoint true happiness. I get a bit lost in the labyrinth of the universe, while I’m thinking about childhood, relationships, friendship and everything I have. Perhaps, I dwell too long on the things I don’t have and forget to be grateful for the here and now. Because I was made with a flaw, and I sincerely know there isn’t just one. Flawlessness is not part of my agenda, although I try my best, I’m still only human, so I fall down and get up again even more often. Significant things take time, what’s important is to persevere, move on and be ready for everything that’s yet to come. My curiosity, but mostly my fear, makes me want to lift the veil of the future and take a peek beyond this world. But I’m not meant to see it. Every now and then, I can see, feel, tune in with my radar, hug my little girl, take in the scent of her youth and life and try to understand.
Stay a bit mysterious, a friend told me. Don’t even try to change so that others would accept you. As the years pass, you realize that other things don’t matter as much as what you carry within. The most hidden and complex things. But still…a million shades of womanhood makes us so special and unique. Strange, of course, but then again, who isn’t, really? The heart is free and it often takes a lot of courage to follow it. I know visualization is the key to materialization: what’s real in your eyes is real in the universe and consequentially in your life. But sometimes the brain is like a computer that needs rebooting, all the screen shows is a grey picture. Even that is okay, until the picture changes into a thin black line, then a dot, then nothing. And it’s not so easy to believe that the heart is a magnet for miracles.
Every issue has three solutions: we either accept it, change it, or let go. If we cannot accept it, we change it. If we cannot change it, we let go. And today is one of those days, when I love myself more than anything else in the world, so I choose love.
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