There are so many, they actually make up our everyday lives, if you really think about it. But then again we don’t always notice them, because the pace of life is fast and in between we forget to live, as we often hear. Today I was thinking about the moments that make me happy and how they ensure that life emerges every morning like an unbelievable magic, full of mystery and beauty. There are some mornings I just want to stay in bed as I hate the sound of the alarm clock, but there are others, when I sneak out of bed to the kitchen, usually barefoot, put the coffee pot on the stove and everything around me becomes still. The apartment has its scent and I sometimes think it is my own. The scent of me, of my life and the things that are unique to me. Do you ever notice these small big things? The humming of the refrigerator, the ticking of the clock, birds chirping outside the window, rustle of the morning breeze, accompanied by the smell of fresh coffee and of Sofia’s skin, which still reminds me of freshly baked cookies. There are many things. When I sense them, I feel like my heart is making cartwheels: hopping like a small child, happy simply for being alive.
There is a small girl inside of me and I sense her every day. Sometimes, she demands my full attention and wants me to hold her hand. She is still so shy, insecure, and often scared. I can tell she needs peace and quiet, I sense that she wants to live in her own world, where there is no space for others. I don’t know, whether these patterns were laid down in my crib, or it’s just my character, which is introverted in a way. I often find myself playing Bruce Springsteen’s Secret Garden in my head and each time I think that he must have written it for me. For me and for every woman like me, because I believe there are quite a few of them out there.
That’s the way I perceive the things that make me happy, about those moments I wouldn’t change for anything in the world. They say it’s really easy to make a list of the things we don’t want or like, but a bit more difficult to make a list of things that make us happy. Why is that? Perhaps just because we’re quicker to see what’s wrong and pay less attention to those that are in their right place. We start taking them for granted. And then someday, they perhaps lose what’s special about them. I would like to live differently, to have more time for the small things that are difficult to be noticed when you rech the age of 40, yet I somehow find solace in the fact you catch them again when you’re 70, when you become a child again with the desire to stop time, to make it slow down, so it could give you as much beauty as you can find. It’s too bad that old age comes with the burden of illness. Nature stops us, when we finally get to the place where we just want to live carefree and unburdened. That’s why I don’t want to miss even the slightest bit of beauty, especially when I’m in a mood and start thinking that maybe I took a few wrong turns, chose the wrong people and stories. But then again, life is happening here and now, and I’ll do my best to be better and be wiser.
So today I made a list of things that make me 100 % happy. Moments, caught in time on the palm of my hand and then safely stored in my secret drawers, where everything is exactly the way it should be. And when I’m at home, alone and in peace, I get to open them and marvel at the precious collection, as if they were glistening diamonds. Maybe you’ll find yourself in them …
- The smell of summer, when high temperatures turn the sky endlessly blue, like his eyes.
- The first sip of sweet and aromatic coffee in the morning, prepared just the way I like it.
- Watching a romantic movie from the couch, a blanket over my legs and a candle lit in the kitchen.
- The expression on my Sofia’s face when she falls asleep and looks as if a hundred angels gathered around her and sprinkled her with a magic dust.
- A walk in the woods right after rain, when the air is full of nature’s perfume and everything is so extraordinarily green.
- Reading in bed when everyone is asleep and the book becomes my best friend.
- The feeling of sun stroking my thighs when I’m resting in a recliner and the beach is unbelievably deserted.
- Exploring a little library so full of secrets I never want to leave.
- Bon Jovi, anytime, anyplace.
- Fresh lavender scented linen that feels so good against my skin when it’s cold outside.
We should take more time in life just to stop and say “This is simply beautiful!”, because missing these moments and not knowing how to catch them really means we’re only living half way; and I think life is too short to miss out on it.