Not that I’m going to change the world single handedly, I wouldn’t even take on such a task, because I rather like the planet and the people aren’t that bad either. There are exceptions, of course, but show me a rule with no exceptions. Life is dynamic and we should accept it as such. It’s not always easy, but then things fall into place and we find ourselves on the right track again. This should be comforting enough and we should remember there is an invisible hand that canensure thateverything is in order. There is a right time and there is our will, which is not ours of course, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have it, not at all. Perhaps we’re just too weak or too tired to realisewhat we actually want. It seems to me that the biggest trouble stems from this state of confusion, when you don’t really know what you want, so you have no idea where you’re going. It’s a zombie condition that I don’t like one bit and I usually steer clear of it. Unfortunately, I don’t always succeed in doing so and sometimes I hit the hard minds that have no capability to adapt, they’re set in my way due to some mysterious coincidence, which I will never understand. It’s not easy to accept or to look away and not hiss like a snake in the middle of a nest, even though that is what I feel like doing most: give them a piece of my mind.
My mother taught me that there is wisdom in silence. When you’re able to count to ten or sometimes a hundred, until it goes away or the anger subsides and the vengeful feeling somehow leaves you. We’re all bloody underneath the skin, the only difference is, how much weallow ourselvesto be hit and how much we’reable to stand up for ourselves. Looking back, I can say I’m proud of whoI am, my good sides and bad ones as well. Of people who surround me and those who have hurt me, because without them, I wouldn’t be Me, but a pale shadow of myself and I wouldn’t like that. I deal with problems so pathetic, I can barely grasp it. I fight for fashion, because I believe in it, and I am appalled by those who are meant to support it, but all they’re trying to instead is to not have any of it. Television is such an attractive box, but it can also be quite empty and full of bad relationships, because people don’t really matter, they’re just numbers that make up the whole and the whole doesn’t have much of a character. This is where I find myself lost. I feel like in 2018, we’re supposed to have our own identity and a way of communicating. I was brought up knowing that words can solve anything. Life, on the other hand, has taught me that the deaf don’t hear and there’s no way of changing that.
My mission is to offer aesthetics. It’s reporting and it’s apersonal vision, meaning my own, but I still hope that through my eyes, you get to see a side of fashion, which is otherwise quite inaccessible. To me, fashion is culture, a channel through which we can improve our lives, not necessarily in the consumer sort of way, but as a life lesson. Beauty has a positive effect and I’d sooner say that all the bad news around us hurt us, and the drive for sensationalism. That is why I like it abroad. To me, all these things dilute or disappear. There is still lots of ugly and bad, but there are also beautiful aspects. I turn on the television and I see a report on wedding cakes, automobile fair, a new video with the sexy Beyonce. Then there are Trump and Putin, but at least I can find balance in all of it, so I am calm. I cannot say the same for where I live. There’s an ocean of bad and worse, and if there happens to be something beautiful lost in this ocean, we’d rather skip over it. And this bothers me and I have always fought against it, but as I’ve said, there is no one worse to talk to thansomeone deaf, who is also so self absorbed that their way is always the right way.
We’re not here to change people. It’s not our mission. I’d sooner say it’s our mission to do our best in the time given to us. There isn’t much time and if you really think about it, we spend it on the wrong people and the insignificant issues. And yet, a problem upon a problem, you end up facing a fierce looking mountain and waiting the final judgment. I decided to go a different way. I have seen different places and new ways, I met people who gave me a lot. I am sorry that my work is appreciated more abroad than it is at home, but as I have heard, it’s a syndrome of everyone that had the chance to look over the fence. I often wonder, if I would do anything different, and the answer is always the same: I wouldn’t. These fences I’m talking about are mental ones, as well as physical, and they make me so alive. And even if I don’t understand, I accept and I also allow others to disagree with me entirely. The only difference is I am now 43 years old, so I can shut the door, tell them to go to hell and not be regret it.
The key to my secret garden used to be under the mat and I let everyone know that they would find it, if they bent down to look. So there was always a way to reach me. Now the key is in my pocket and I can tell you, I am a lot happier.
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