I like sharing bits and pieces of my life with you and I believe that writing is soothing for me, it helps me put things in their perspective. On the other hand, I hope that my words are able to touch you and maybe reach the core of the issue at hand, and perhaps move it a little bit. If I’ve ever succeeded in doing that, even if I only reached a single reader, I believe I am on the right track. Today is a day to talk about things we desire and about why we cannot attain them. A familiar story, isn’t it? If we pieced all of them together, I suppose we would get an endless book, a novel that wouldn’t necessarily have a happy ending, but I am here to tell you that the outcome can change, if only we decide so.
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Inner peace and happiness depend on knowing the law of attraction that says we can only attract what we send into the universe. This way, we can simply use positive energy to attract positive condition, people and experience. I’ve read a lot about it and I have to say there is a whole ocean between reading and understanding something, and what really happens. I am sure that the law of attraction works and I also believe there is a mischievous saboteur inside us that doesn’t need words to stop or change anything. It only needs thoughts.
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Since I am a psychologist by education, I can delve deep inside my own head and often in heads of those I love. I admit, working with them is much easier and faster, but when I look into myself, I am oftentimes confused. Well, perhaps confused isn’t the right word, but I think we all find ourselves in a labyrinth now and then and it’s difficult to find our way. The only consolation is that there is a way out, but we have to engage our heart and mind in order to find it. Something a friend of mine, who is also a psychologist, admitted, keeps echoing inside my head: “80 % of the patients that come to me, have no answer to a very simple question: What is it that we want?” Maybe this is the beginning of everything, of a change and a new path; these simple words that are really quite complicated. Reality happens to be compiled of several layers and women have a tendency to assemble and add to them, until we sometimes lose the bottom line of it all. The answer to the question should be quick and intuitive, but for that to happen, we need that inner voice, which is supposed to be stronger than the saboteur, the only one we can follow without a doubt. So, are we ready?
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Let’s try to make a list of everything we don’t want, then go over every remark and turn them into positive statements. for instance, if we write that “we don’t want any trouble with paying the monthly bills”, let’s transform it, so it sounds more or less like this: “Money will keep flowing in and I will pay the bills easily.” This sort of exercise will force us to focus on positivity and clearly state our desires. Don’t forget to carefully select our thoughts and emotions. Pause for a moment and consider what our emotional barometer is telling us right now. How do we feel? Rate your state on a scale from 1 to 10 and answer the simple question. We all have the inner saboteur. The little voice telling us we won’t be able to handle this, achieve that, become what we want to. Let’s become aware that this little voice is fear. Fear is a perfectly normal reaction to stepping out of familiar tracks. Every time we start something new and different, the little voice is telling us that we’ll fail, that we’re not capable enough, that we won’t succeed. Let’s admit that the voice is really us. We build obstacles for ourselves and prevent ourselves from living a wonderful life.
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
Photo and make up: Biljana Babic
P.S. I am grateful for everything I have, and I have a lot, including moments of happiness so pure I sometimes feel a pang of pain from joy. The photo shoot with Gal was one of these moments.
5 thoughts on “The inner saboteur”
Amazing writing, photos, mood and everything here!
When you feel yourself procrastinating or making a choice that goes against your hearts deepest desire, you have a choice, ride the wave all the way through and when you reach the shore, ask yourself what that was all about OR shift in the moment by having an immediate conversation with your inner saboteur and ask what’s up. Give it full permission to speak. Then decide if you want to follow it or if there’s some other option you prefer to take. Be sure to thank your saboteur. As you practice this, your saboteur becomes a brilliant guide for staying true to your dream. The process becomes faster and easier. You’ll find yourself in flow far more often. It is an exciting relationship to have in balance.
The saboteur creates disruptions in your flow, your dreams, your abilities to do what you need to do to be at your highest potential. Your saboteur resists opportunities, often through doubt, fear, and procrastination. It pulls up every possible fear around consequences and results of taking responsibilities for your creations. So how do you stop it? Well, you don’t. You actually want to refocus it. Much like reprogramming a GPS that has an old map with old roads, you have to update the maps to include the new roads. In this case the roads are your thoughts and beliefs.
We all have a saboteur in us. This is the guardian of your deepest beliefs. It protects you from ever having to “feel that way again.” It tries to keep you “safe,” even though that is often a misperception. What it really does is keep you playing small.
What do you really want? Go beyond the obvious dreams. What gets your heart excited and simultaneously scares the crap out of you? THAT is what I’m talking about. That is your heart’s deepest desire. Take some time to go through all the reasons you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” go there into that place that is exciting and scary. List it all out. Then repeat those questions at the end of step one.