14 steps toward becoming the perfect woman

We often focus on the external characteristics, when we talk about beauty, probably too often. We stand in front of a mirror and check if our hair is shiny enough, lips full enough, if we’re tall enough, our body slim and firm, if we’re wearing beautiful clothes and perfect makeup. All of this is true and it’s alright to take care of ourselves, however, the real things that make us perfect are entirely different. They have nothing to do with fashion or beauty industry, thank god, but were naturally given to us and it’s up to us to make the most and best of them. I believe every one of us can find within ourselves the following life truths; some may be more pronounced than others. It made me think, when I saw them on paper, mostly about the fact it would be good to know which things we can still improve on; but the good news is we mostly have them, in some form or another.

Our passions are greater than the clothes we wear

When you reach a certain point in life, the most important thing is knowing where you’re going. We have our path, vision or goal. We may look interesting in a nice dress, but the key is having passions that have more to do with inner self than the outside world. They are inner worlds that are highly individual. And very much our own.

We are unique

For better or worse; and no two women are alike, which is excellent, of course. All the shades that compose our personality, different characters and characteristics ensure that we create our own universe, an expanse so wonderful to admire and explore. I’m always honoured to work with or become friends with a woman, because I know she is a spectrum of various shades, which attracts me immensely.

We don’t have to be the centre of attention

It’s actually good to stay in the shadow sometimes, even in the company of other people, and simply observe. We don’t always have to be in the spot light, or be the main attraction. Using this word, attraction, reminded me of a dear friend of mine, who has recently said to me: “I quit being the main attraction to others, even my partner, when I turned 40. Now, I focus only on myself and I believe others will manage just fine on their own.” I can identify easily with her words; there comes a time when you begin to understand how wonderful it is to be silent.

We know how to speak

Mostly, how to use words, because they carry a certain weight, which makes us remember them. The wisdom of knowing when and how to express ourselves comes with the passing of years; at the same time you realise that not everybody is willing to listen, but that’s alright as well. Most importantly, we shouldn’t feel negative about other people’s decisions, but instead focus on ourselves even more, because we cannot change others no matter how much we love them.

We are independent

Therefore the result that we are fully emancipated, hold our own jobs, our own responsibilities, and our own spare time. There are some dark sides to even this progress, but then, the coin always has a flip side, doesn’t it? Independence means we can decide to travel to Venice tomorrow, sleep over and enjoy a weekend by the canal, with gondolas and a breeze in our hair. It is brilliant.

We are open

Because we have that invisible third eye that separates us from others, always a step ahead and full of compassion. I believe we, women, are exceedingly open to change and can see very far, even where one might say at first glance that there is no path. This openness leads to new stories and new possibilities, which is very important in this ever changing life.

We think of others

Especially, when we become mothers and get the chance to feel new life forming, inside us at first, and then in the world. We always think of everyone around us, family, friends and relatives, and we often forget about ourselves, because taking care of others is a sort of calling. The important thing is to know how to turn back, and start taking care of our own happiness: this is a prerequisite for making others happy as well, and we would do well to remember this.

We have a soul

A tremendous soul, reaching the universe, and back, the moon, and back to Earth. It’s a complicated thing, soul, and magical in its own way, but it’s best to get to know it and act in harmony with it. Our soul is also gentle and fragile, it gets walked on easily, so it’s up to us to protect it on time and in the right way. We have to start realising that all negative things and experiences leave scars on our soul; so give yourself a hug and try acting in a way that is best for you.

We don’t have to be flawless

It’s great to have flaws! Always look at this from a positive perspective, because being less than perfect is a totally normal thing. We learn a lot from life, we often fall and then rise again, we even repeat our mistakes. It’s just that we live in a circle, so things repeat and repeat until we resolve them from deep inside.

We are content

With ourselves and with our lives. I know it’s not easy, but if this is your weak spot, give it your best to make it better. Being content is key, and a content woman is a beautiful woman.

We don’t need judgement

Thanks, but no thanks. And if you still get the feeling people are judging you, there is a simple solution: refuse to listen, after all, that is not your story.

We laugh a lot

Out loud and even about silly things, like little girls who have not yet forgotten the simple joys of life. Laughter is the best medicine, and we want to be happy, so there’s nothing left to do but to find the funny side of situations that are less than amusing. And we’ve mastered this, haven’t we?

We’re optimistic

Always. And always keep in mind that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Eventually. Undoubtedly. After a while, it will start feeling like the whole catastrophic situation was actually only a cloud full of rain that has already passed, and it’s rainbow time. Don’t lose touch with your inner optimist, because she is the one keeping you going, empowering you with strength. I think that we are all great warriors in our soul.

We know how to show our sensitive side

And it’s just as beautiful, gentle, interesting. Those who know how to bare it, prove that getting over shyness is actually very empowering. Having a sensitive side is not weakness, it’s just one of the various shades of us, and actually quite an attractive one, especially when we’re surrounded with true friends and the right man that knows how to support us and lift us up toward the stars.