Think well, act well, feel well, be well! When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Try to notice if you do that the next time you’re in a discussion. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
Interpretations: It’s what many of us do in conversations – too soon, too quick and too ineffective. When effective, they bring new meaning. When unsuccessful, they turn out to be insulting assumptions. Avoid conversational interpretations that “interpret” the very self-image or personhood of another. Instead, stick to proverbs or generalized sayings, they are the most innocent and safe of interpretations. Silences: It’s by far the easiest talking tool, habit, and skill in communication – and by far the most underused. Also referred to as “conversational allowing,” silences pave the way, regulating the all-powerful thinking and feeling mechanisms through the pauses allowed in the listening and talking components of the conversation. In short, be more aware and allow for more silences in the conversations and relationships that make a difference: you won’t be dissatisfied!
Communication is defined as a lot of things but my favorite definition includes, “the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings”. I always say I’m a great talker, but I have to also be an equally great listener in order to be a great communicator. Communication is about expressing yourself in a healthy way, listening to your partner when they are doing the same, and really hearing and absorbing what the other person has to say. Communication is a skill, which means there’s always room for improvement. The art of picking the right word may not come immediately, but you can work on it day by day, to build a happier life.
Winston Churchill once said:
Short words are best, and old words, when short, are best of all.” Smooth, concise wording is the name of the game
Many distractions and noises flood our world. You may never discover how you can improve your life when your attention is always being drawn away. However, you can improve your awareness by practicing silence. Taking time to self-reflect will help you figure out if your life is working the way you’d like it to. Once you become aware of the changes you’d like to see, you’ll be able to make a conscious improvement to the patterns of your life.
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