A pretty face won’t help you, if your heart is tough. Sometimes I feel like all the surrounding noise gives me so much power, it manages to kill my inner peace along the way, and yet that is what I keep focusing on despite the fact I am very much aware that negativity doesn’t need my energy. I still end up staring into blank space like a lost sheep and I wave my hands hoping that someone will finally notice me. We live in a wonderful world, but I’m afraid it’s full of deaf people and in the end, even though there are plenty of imperfect days, only we possess the power to bravely face a bad day in a constructive way. And what means do you use? Do you wonder, whether you’re nice and sincere enough, sensitive enough to always let kindness guide you? It entails so many shades, including the one where you handle others in gloves. I am seriously asking the Universe to show me signs and interestingly, I keep missing them and pretend they aren’t there, because I don’t agree with them. I then wake up in the morning and start waiting again, because I have the faith and the stamina to believe I have control of the bigger picture, when the truth is, I can barely make out the left corner.
Don’t ask, don’t explore, don’t knock on doors. Instead, just relax and start vibrating with the right frequency, the one that says you believe and makes it possible for it to happen. Personal growth requires a lot of patience, isolation from the world and sacrifice, undoubtedly. But growth will keep calling on you and it will be hard to miss its’voice and even harder to turn your back to it. In the end, it will take care of you by constantly sending challenges your way and you’ll constantly have to face big decisions and huge adjustments. And it’s hard. It’s difficult for a person to change and even more challenging to understand that they’re not alone in the world, that there are so many truths and points of view, it’s practically impossible to always be right. Remember that good things never come from the crowd that knows you inside out and knows your intimate situation. Good things come when you alone are focused on the path and your own personal desires. If your heart is steady, there is no person that could disturb your peace.
I did an interesting interview just yesterday with a makeup artist and as I sat with him in the middle of a stage, in front of an audience, someone broke china in the backstage. It fell, broke and then echoed for quite some time in my eardrums, simply because I was rattled by the noise and I worried about the audience. When the night came to a close, I stayed talking to my guest privately, realizing he is not only an excellent makeup artist, but also a great human in the best and most profound sense of the word. I apologized for the noise even though it wasn’t my fault, and he was surprised and said: “What noise, I didn’t hear a thing. I was focused on you and our conversation and nothing bothered me.” Focused, that’s what he said. To do one thing at a time, do it well, do it the best you can and don’t listen to the noise that is around you one way or another. It’s not up to you, so you can’t change it. That made me think. I live in a world that I often perceive as a radio with various stations; I know there are those with the 80’s, which I like, but I don’t change stations, I keep listening to the same old program, full of commercials, which keeps breaking up, but I still don’t bother to do anything about it. Maybe you see yourself in this situation and you also get Kill Bill days, when you just feel like taking a bat and kick some ass. Pardon my French, but I feel this metaphor is the closest to my truth.
No person in our lives is sent to us by coincidence and mistake and there is no situation we find ourselves in just because someone is toying with us. When I put pieces of this crazy puzzle together, I can see it’s not the end. But still, 2016 changed us. 2017 broke us. 2018 opened our eyes. 2019: here we come.
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