We women have particular difficulty developing self-confidence. We instinctively focus on everyone but ourselves. So taking the time for self-development doesn’t come naturally to us. Girls often are encouraged to be passive, and not too daring or confident. After all, we don’t want to threaten all those guys out there! The confident women are not always the thinnest, prettiest, or smartest. They’re not arrogant. They’re the ones who make you want to be around them. How do they continue to try, even at the risk of public failure and humiliation? If you asked them, their formula for self-confidence would likely include the following ingredients.
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Take responsibility for yourself
This is the first and most important ingredient in the self-confidence formula. You, and only you, can make new things happen in your life. If you wait for serendipity to provide you with good fortune, or with increased confidence, you’ll be waiting a long time. Realize that the path toward self-confidence is one that you will have to travel — no one else can do it for you.
Live your purpose
Your purpose is to be authentically you. No more, no less. When you applaud your fears, neuroses, and quirks, suddenly these qualities become your assets.
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Begin to experiment with life
Try something new. Go out to dinner alone. Take a class in an unfamiliar subject area. Teach yourself how to repair a toaster. Testing your abilities at new endeavors is a wonderful way to learn that you can rely on yourself.
Practice your unique ritual
Some of the greatest thinkers, artists, speakers, lawyers, and performers of our time have a preperformance ritual that gets them revved for show time. While a unique ritual is about doing, it’s also about feeling. A ritual creates the feeling you desire before you actually get to the doing.
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Act “as if”
If you put off taking action until you have confidence, you’ll never do it. In the field of psychology we have come to understand that by changing our behavior, we can change our feelings. So if you take action, and do so with a semblance of outward confidence, the inward, true feeling of confidence, will follow.
Spend and love time alone
Know what you need to make this precious time with yourself the best time. There is nothing sexier than a woman who adores her own company. Take time for a pink nail polish, a good bath, a vanilla shower, an amazing meal, music that will calm you. These are amazing moment that you can spend just with yourself.
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