Allow me to not always be positive, my darlings, and understand that there are times, when I have to speak my mind, even if it comes off as harsh. Fashion can indeed be crazy, which takes the fun away and even hurts my feelings a bit. On the other hand, I know there are women out there, who will applaud these trends. It’s a matter of taste, just like it was, when I was in Salzburg, Austria, and they served meat with cranberries or cold soup in a tall glass. I didn’t quite understand it, but I will admit that it could be a possible choice, and that it only contradicts my personal taste. From this perspective, spring can be fun, although mostly for fans of Crocs, which I realize may not have a large following on this particular site…You should still know that fashion suggests we wear them to places other than the field, even with an evening dress. Maybe, if I were drunk or hallucinating, other than that, I cannot see myself pulling off that look…
What more is there to say? Balenciaga positions them at 800 Euros and if any of you are contemplating to order them, you should know I will no longer be your friend. Because it’s madness. They’re crude, ugly, oversized, savage, and only appropriate for a construction yard, if that. And even if, one would still desperately hope to be completely alone, making sure not to get noticed. To make matters worse, they come with glitter‒which you know I love‒but enough’s enough.
If you’re planning a performance in a S&M movie or want to transform yourself into the wild retro heroine of a German porn, dated back to the 70’s, you should have no attachment to this attire. All jokes aside, this vinyl trend is reminiscent of the weird items one finds in a sex shop, the ones you can’t seem to figure out, how to wear them or what to do with them. Kim Kardashian certainly knows how to wear them, but let’s not forget that even Lady Gaga once wore raw meat, which we only rolled our eyes at for years that came. Freaks will be freaks.
Let’s stick to the topic. Plastic footwear is, well, ugly. Regardless, whether it’s sandals, boots or anything else, this see-through plastic is terrible. Whoever invented these shoes, apparently had no idea that our feet can be as large as a size 9.5 (mine, for example), and they don’t exactly look like Cinderella’s. I have permanent damage due to classic ballet lessons and I much prefer walking around in actual shoes than in stiff garbage bags. And the best thing is, when your toes slide over the edge of the sole and you can barely walk. You probably keep worrying, when it’s finally going to burst and leave you barefoot in the middle of fashion week in Paris, of course. Perfect.
Socks and sandals
Excuse me??? It took me about five years, when I was at the beginning of my career at the national TV, to thoroughly explain that we do not wear socks in the show, even in the winter. Yes, even if you have varicose veins, there’s powder for that. It just so happens that the heat and the studio lights require a bare foot; my darlings, just the other day, I was admiring a TV host wearing sandals with socks that had a visible front seam, you know, the nude colored ones that I love so much. I was so focused on this fashion faux-pas that I didn’t hear a word of what she was saying. And guess what? She was actually en vogue! Okay, I’ll admit, I’m rolling my eyes.
I can tolerate a baseball hat on Bon Jovi, but he is my exception to the rule, end of debate. I know that celebrities wear them, when they want to remain unnoticed, but why? There are so many gorgeous hats out there, where in the world do they find these caps decorated with logos or advertisements? I can just feel the “Yo, brother” vibe, add some track pants, the ones that make a noise when you walk around, and it makes you feel almost famous. Victoria Beckham is famous and you don’t see her running around in one, for heaven’s sake!
The ugly sneakers
There will be a lot of them…because apparently Aladin has taken up fitness and the fashion editors wear shoes from Mars. Who cares? I do, because I love fashion and I sincerely hope that it will be a short lasting trend. That it will soon be over, like a visit to the dentist, where I recently went to extract a wisdom tooth‒I closed my eyes, got a shot and called on the angels to help me. This annoying trend gives me a similar feeling, but I do think this one would require a full anesthesia, so I could sleep for awhile until it goes away. Amen.
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