The angels that love us

I believe in angels and other energies that encircle our lives. I believe in a dimension that is not the here and now; it’s somewhere else and completely different from what we know. It’s signs are suble yet clear, the only problem is that we have become less and less sensitive to them over the years and generally pay less attention to the world and the life that goes on around us. That’s why we have a difficult time seeing them. I was staring at the tiny specks of dust, that suddelly arose in my bedroom and made the air move around miraculously. It looked like dancing glitter, throwing shadows on the walls. My baby girl came in the room, wearing a pink top with a heart of glitter, and she noticed the same scene that became even more interesting, as the glitter on her top created additional silver reflections on the ceiling. Her reaction was, “Mom, angels! They’ve been away for so long! They’re dancing in your bedroom again.” There you go, they’re angels. I believe that we also have a scratch in our hearts, left there by a person or animal that is no longer a part of this world, even though in my opinion, energy doesn’t disappear, rather it is born again and again. I also believe that the ones closest to us never truly leave us, but are for reasons unknown forbidden to come too close to us or let us know in a loud voice they’re still there. So stop and listen. At times you don’t need much to sense them, but what’s most important is that they’re doing well, they’re happy and finally healthy, and never forgot about us.

Photo & Make-Up: Biljana Babič

In the same unexpected and sincere way, your stories have been following me around these days. I could around town on errands and shopping, and a woman I have not met before stops to tell me that she found a brand new world on the website, a world that has helped her to keep a positive outlook on things at a time, when there wasn’t much positivity around. Or there is a business woman, highly effective and dynamic, that stops me one evening on a quiet street to tell me that there are many “on the other side”, it’s her and her friends, so she’s happy that we exist. And another one, a woman I exchange brief and still sleepy glances in the morning, one I would never guess is actually the heart of the website … There truly are a lot of you. It seems as though we have learned to fly in the past years, we knew how to become women in the most beautiful way possible, the most subtle and gracious way. We knew how to find support to realise that the glass is always half full, you only have to look at it from the right angle.

I believe that many things have happened during these years, beautiful and less pleasant things. Perhaps you also lost a loved one, or just started thinking about one. A deceased aunt came to me in this way, one I loved as if she were my mother, and my Lili, a red cat with a white nose that made sure I had a wonderful childhood. She lived at my parents’ and I can often see her tail disappear behind a corner, when I go visit them. In those moments I turn around completely, to see if she is still there. And my mother, also a witch of sorts, just says, “Is Lili back?” That is why it seems that we are not alone. There are many different energies around us and we possess the power to give them our attention, to sense them, stop and perhaps thank them. When my aunt passed away, so brutally and unexpectedly, I spent many years living with a sense of guilt for not telling her I loved her, the last time we spoke on the phone. I took it for granted and it seemed perhaps even unnecessary, because she was calling from London. And then she was gone. As if a gust of wind swept her to a different dimension. I got the news when I was driving, and I looked high up at the sky and it was all pink, red, orange and violet. A wonderful sky and such sad news. I think that a part of me stayed behind in that curve, stuck between Heaven and Earth.

Photo & Make-Up: Biljana Babič

Every now and then, I can feel her presence. In the tiny glitter on the ceiling, in the air behind my nape, in the shadow in the mirror. I am not certain they’re all coincidences. I think that there are important things happening outside us. Angels keep flying close to us, making sure that we’re always safely embraced. They’re there, now and always, but choose not to disturb you in the busy everyday battle that we call life. I am profoundly grateful for these sensations and share them with you without shame, because I know that they’re not all that foreign to you. And since I already missed one opportunity to say “I love you”, I wanted to thank you for making sure that my everyday is so wonderful. I sincerely love you and even though we don’t personally know each other, there is a narrow yet strong connection between all of you and me.

With my nose toward the ceiling, I keep staring at the glitter. I think they’re Sofia’s, but when I turn around, she’s gone. All I hear is her singing in the living room.