I have no idea how much time you spend in front of a mirror and in the bathroom, where every possible female paraphernalia is keeping you company, such as anti-cellulite cream, wax, hair and face masks, or how many times a friend’s, mother’s or partner’s words have hurt you, when they casually remarked that you might have gained some weight. Or that a dress you consider ultimately beautiful and favourite doesn’t suit you at all, or even that you’re too old for those skinny jeans or red lipstick, that you don’t really know how to pull off a translucent blouse, and while we’re at it, colours aren’t really your field of expertise. I always feel as though women are very sensitive to those kind of comments. We are too quick to adopt them, push them deep down inside our subconsciousness and perhaps even think that we managed to quiet them, when they’re actually like a persistent drop of water, banging on our brain as well as the heart, making sure our confidence starts crumbling dangerously. We tend to lose the meaning of life in our pursuit for the perfect image that is often unattainable, and we focus too much on insignificant things or issues that should not bring us down. We are the ones setting the boundaries, and that is why I believe it’s important to know how to set them not only in time, but even for the people closest to us. They’re the ones that should be able to sense them easily, effortlessly even, however, it often happens that they feel an inexplicable need to comment, “be honest” in a way we simply don’t appreciate.
The new generation of women is extraordinarily strong. Their role remains unchanged: they still face the great divide between their jobs and personal lives, career and children, housework and proving themselves in their work environment. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we are poorly equipped against unwarranted critiques or remarks that take our confidence away. I am convinced that I know a lot about myself and I regularly dive into the deepest corners of my soul, flashlight in hand, because I don’t like murky caves, and bad surprises even less. That is why I think the key is to discover, learn, forgive and forget, and oftentimes simply move on. And that is why I am fully aware that being a princess at work or on a screen doesn’t mean that much to me, because to me, that’s just purely work and I realise that other things are the ones that really matter. They are far from the image I project in the media, and so is the slightest part of me that I am willing to share with the public. I want to be a princess at home. I want to be a princess in the eyes of the ones I know and value, that matter to me and know me well enough to acknowledge what a word can mean to me, so they don’t make big mistakes in this area, they aren’t offensive or judging, they don’t have unrealistic expectations. I am more inclined to say that they accompany me, perhaps support me, have fun or just simply love. Every one of us has many different shades, in fact far more than the most complicated man, and every one of us has a desire to be a princess to the people that matter in her life.
When I read happily-ever-after stories about a princes to my Sofia I always wonder, if it’s a wise idea. I can already see the flicker of falling in love in her eyes, a crush for a boy that keeps her company in pre-school every day, and they support each other unconditionally, like only children can. But life is somewhat different and can often serve us a plate of something we don’t want, with a side dish of people that we wish we had never met. There is, however, always a reason, always a plan even when we cease to recognise it. I also daydreamt about a prince, even though in my dreams he was quite contemporary and definitely didn’t ride around on a horse, but that was about the only missing characteristic ‒ everything else was there. All in all, I can say that male energy never disappointed me, each is interesting in its own way, no matter how the story concludes. One thing I never liked was a man, who thinks that he is too smart and gives you too much unwanted advice. And there are many like that. I also don’t care for cynicism or blunt humour, which is usually only funny to the person thinking it. I fully support handling things with care, in the sense that we pay attention to the words we use, to the sentences we write in the online comments sections, even to the looks we give and also, most importantly, our thoughts. These wonderful, invisible, magical gloves often prevent us from stepping on other people, enable us to respect them with all their vices and virtues, to allow them be who they are, and not judge their lives. Unfortunately, there is no store that sells them and no book to teach us how to use them.
There is only one thing that you can turn to every time and that is your conscience. And what’s most interesting is the fact, that it will always guide you to the right answer, if you only ask.