To be in consonance with the Universe is everything. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen, at the right moment, in the right place, for the right reason. What we built in 2018 are foundations for all the good yet to come. The only thing left to do is to open our arms and prepare ourselves for the next adventure. The end of a year is the time we usually look back and start analyzing things we did, people we met and situations we found ourselves in. It’s what I did in December and looking at it now, I can still say this: I’ll proudly raise a glass of champagne and toast to everything good, which is going to hit me like a train at maximum speed, and all the bad as well, because I wouldn’t be me without all these challenging situations. It’s rather interesting the way life doesn’t always let us walk the paths we chose, because this gives us a chance to explore other trails and they can be much better and braver than the ones we envisioned ourselves. We should remember more often that every lost battle or person brings us something new. Undoubtedly, we wouldn’t be able to see the stars without darkness.
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
2018 gave me many lessons; I want to write them down, so I wouldn’t forget them. But it’s actually impossible to ignore lessons, which most often settle in our soul in the form of scars and even though they’re thin or almost invisible, they sure come with their own weight. Each of them separately. I have learnt to keep my inner peace when I find myself in the middle of a war and to let people go, especially in the business realm, which has the ball and chain effect on me. Not in the way that you couldn’t take a step forward, which you somehow do, but it’s a whole different story, how you do it. Once you unlock these chains and take an independent step with nothing holding you back anymore, you feel as though you’re at the edge of a cliff. I think of a person who spent years in prison and when they come out, it’s not only a new life waiting for them, but a new world. They can manage to settle in with ease or they don’t. The choice is ours and you know I’m not one to give up. Maybe women at forty hold ourselves in too high esteem and love ourselves too much to miss out on a priceless opportunity: to breathe with our own lungs and to have a vision is not a privilege, I’d sooner call it a right. So, my darlings, I wonder, how many people and situations are you holding on to, in the form of ball and thick chain around your ankle, which you’ve perhaps gotten used to? It’s interesting, how resilient and stubborn we can be and how even in the darkest of nights feel like there’s a sliver of light. And if we only opened the door and let the true light in, to shine upon us like a magical ray of happiness, maybe we would then understand the difference between darkness and daylight. Everyone has their own charm, but perhaps we were meant to live through one and the other.
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
If you’re still wondering, what you wish for the new year to bring you, I can tell you about me. I am realizing that my wishes are always the same, maybe I throw in a fresh one, but deep down I know I’m not really missing anything. It’s curiosity that pushes me forward and makes me explore the roads less traveled, which sometimes burn me and other times I come out fine, but all in all I can only say it’s worth the risk. I toast to everything good, because in life, I am reflected like a deer in water and I always manage to see more shades than there really are. Beyond the beautiful, neat and superficial are the layers of people, emotions and psychological twists that fascinate me endlessly: one life is nowhere near enough to get all the answers or ask all the questions. But it is enough to create at least an approximate sense of what it is to live well and how the world can be filled with beauty, if you turn on your antennae. I thank Sofia for opening new doors for me and as per usual showed me the way where I couldn’t see one. And I don’t think I’m blind, it’s more like I’m too quick to catch all the shades of life, and when I stop the picture gets completely different colors and another dimension. I am lucky, for even if I stopped doing everything that I do and what I believe makes me satisfied, I would find a whole universe of glitter in my daughter’s eyes and each of them could tell me a story. That is what I cherish most and draw my strength from.
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
Photo: Zen
I also raise a glass for all the bad things that happened and for all the unease, sadness or low spirits, which pushed me outside my comfort zone. I had such a good time on my sofa in the safe haven of my living room, which I love, with a good book and a cup of tea, and then bam, something kicks my behind and makes me jump to the ceiling, i look around and everything is rearranged. What we do is we set up a new comfort zone, but somewhere deep down we know that things don’t last forever, twists and turns happen, they leave you on the curb and it’s up to you, how well you manage. I toast the bad, because I’m willing to embrace it and see it as part of life. If everything always shined, we probably wouldn’t notice, how much good we’re able to conjure up, how much magic there is for us and how many beautiful moments there are just waiting for us. It would all be straightforward, we would live in an eternal paradise, which would eventually lose all its allure. Life’s unpredictability can push you into the darkest ally, but even there you can find something positive: you realize, who is your friend, who is an incorrigible coward, who will have your back, even if they don’t understand you, and you will stab you in the back just because that’s the way they do things. It’s like a gigantic hand cleans the slate and sets the record straight in your head, getting rid of things you no longer need or were toxic for you.
And this is why, my darlings, I toast to friends and those as well, who turned out not to be my friends in 2018, but they made me stronger. It is to them I owe thanks the most. Honestly. Because even though I have many mistakes, I wouldn’t change a thing.
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