I read a sentence somewhere that really made me think: Forgive yourself for accepting much less than you deserve, but don’t ever do that again. It was still summer, when I read an even more interesting article titled Breadcrumbs, written by a well known Italian psychologist; the content touched me, because I am a woman and I can discern many different shades and read between the lines; and maybe we’re wrong to not ask for more. I can honestly say that I don’t believe we’re shooting for the stars, not at all, we just want a little more attention, hugs, kind words and “being there”, as well as some more masculinity in the sense of the good old, sincere gentlemen’s presence. A bouquet of flowers, which is not so common, a dinner on the weekend, which also gives us a break from cooking, because I really do believe that men who don’t cook, have no idea, how much effort it takes to make a meal, so long as it’s not from a can. Mine is in that category, is yours?
We don’t meet people because of some coincidence in the the Universe or by accident, we meet them because in that moment, they are meant to cross our path. Even if we are not aware of the reason. We should always have enough strength to stand up for ourselves and say confidently that this or that is not good for us, giving us us the right to leave. But then again…What about everybody else? What about the ones left behind? When I was little, my mother said something to me that I will never forget. We were talking about death, which was a mystery to me, completely incomprehensible, and it still is even to this day. I tried to understand what happens to the person that dies, where they go, and whether they will be okay without us. Her answer was as simple as it was clear: When someone dies, it’s not hard for them anymore, it’s hard for those left behind. If you really think about it, that’s the way things happen in life: it’s hard for those that are left behind in the same old place, even in the sense that they’re unable to change, because they’re so sure they’re always right. Being happy in a relationship or in a friendship is actually quite a complicated matter, because being happy means you have to become aware of nirvana with no reason in particular. My question is: Do we have the ability to do it?
All of those days when we’re brought to our knees, are actually a blessing, because they help us grow. It’s important to listen for the words not spoken and find what we’re looking for in solitude. The frivolity of relationships holds so many things we can get lost in, as if we were set in the middle of an uninterrupted noise, which carries no attraction, and just tires us. They say that home is where you feel at home, but I feel as though mine is somewhere among stars, in the middle of the universe, where it’s so dark the night turns into velvet and the stars into candles that warm my very soul. Whenever I get lost in it all, I feel like time is all I have. And everything will come, once I’m ready. Sometimes, it all boils inside me as if I were a pot, filled with water on the stove; I just watch and wait for it to boil over, gently reminding me that looking at the past is like looking in a mirror, which no longer shows a true reflection. Everything is distorted, sometimes embellished, other times sterile, then romantic, but there’s always that one thing that simply isn’t real. Sort of like remembering your first love, which we see as perfect, of course, simply because it was the first, but we’re deceiving ourselves, because if it were so flawless, we would still be living it.
I receive letters from you, not just comments. Stories of women, which touch me, thanking me for just being, and most of all, because I write what I write. My words become yours, my world is your oyster, we all experience similar things and we are certainly stronger together. I sometimes wish I were the sun in the lives of those who love me. Other times, I prefer being the moon, which shines light on the darkest moments. Or I turn into the strongest of winds just to blow the clouds apart and leave behind that crisp air with a crystal clear sky, when you feel that you are so alive and everything is as it should be. When life gets hard, we usually wish it would be easier, but we should actually wish to become stronger. All I can say is this: Let’s keep moving forward, because our time will come. It is only when you have reached a point, where you honestly don’t care, whether you’ve left a good impression or persuaded anyone, when you’re at the beginning of your own freedom. So I open my arms, take a deep breath, close my eyes, and think: Inner peace is a new success.
But today, all I feel like doing is to follow my intuition, turn on the women’s intelligence, be brave, only tell the truth. Life is so much simpler, when we cease to look for excuses for ourselves, and stay away from those who will never get it anyway.
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