Being self loving is in no way selfishness. Start living for yourself as well. Stay away from the people who poison your life. Such people don’t deserve hatred even, they deserve ignorance. There are some things that people think are self-care that are not self-care and some things that are 100 percent self-care and people don’t see it. Self-care should restore and replenish you as opposed to numb you. That’s why self-care is something that is individual to you. What is self-care for you may not be self-care for others. The key is to just listen to yourself And know when something is truly reinvigorating you.
Ultimately, our mental health and our physical health and our emotional well-being are the foundation of everything that we do. If we aren’t taking care of ourselves and giving ourselves what we truly need, we can’t show up in the world in the way that we want to. We can’t do all of the things that we want to do. By investing time care and attention into ourselves, we are empowering ourselves to do that and attention back to the world tenfold. There is a huge myth in our culture that it’s time to shake up — the idea that putting yourself first is selfish. Part of the cultural problem is that most people, perhaps unconsciously, associate the idea of loving others with forgetting about ourselves.
Your loved ones want to see you happy and healthy. Think about all the relationships that you are a part of and how much better they are when the other person is feeling their best emotionally, physically and mentally. Think about how you feel when you sleep sufficiently each night, regularly exercise, eat healthy food, see friends and family on a regular basis, engage in stimulating work. The list goes on. There is never a shortage of “to do list” items to complete, invitations to accept and commitments to make. It’s naturally to want to say “yes” to all of it. To people-please. To avoid conflict. To be “nice.” The reasons are infinite, which is exactly why it’s time for all of us to stop it.
Our psychology and physiology are intimately interconnected. When you don’t rest and give yourself a break, your body goes into survival mode, your cortisol levels increase, exacerbating your stress — and burnout becomes a vicious cycle. This means pulling in reinforcements from parts of our brain reserved for things like love, connection and contentment. When you overextend one part of you, everything (and everyone) suffers.
People feel the energy you bring to every situation. If you are happy, they will observe that. If you are angry, they will feel that, too. Your emotions don’t even have to be that extreme for your loved ones to absorb this energy. So recognize that power, subtle as it may be at times.
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